It's Not About Being In Love All the Time.

I have seen it happen too often, people fall out of love and break up immediately. In my experience; UNLESS you are in an abusive relationship, this is a really silly thing to do.

I fall in and out of love with my spouse about 5 times a year. It can be caused by anything. Too much sex, too little. Not enough communication, or too much. Not enough cuddle time, or too much. When I had an "oven" it was caused by my time of the month. Now it's caused by hormone surges or drops. Depression,  messy house, parenting, etc. 

Just because you have fallen out of love with your partner, doesn't mean you don't love them at all. It simply means that the special little spark that makes being in love wonderful has taken a vacation. You may experience a period of not being sexually attracted to your spouse. You may feel stuck. You may find that cuddling them feels suffocating. You may feel annoyed with your partner. Everything they do may drive you nuts. Their little nuances that you once found endearing may seem unbearable. Even the sound of their voice may grate on your nerves. This is perfectly (dare I say it,) normal. Give it a bit, sometimes all it takes is 24 hours apart. Sometimes it takes some serious sit down communication, and sometimes all you gotta do is go on a date! Never underestimate the power of a date. 

Falling out of love happens to every couple (or household if you are poly) eventually. Don't feel bad, or guilty. It is a natural and healthy stage of a relationship. It happens to every type of relationship; friendship, parent/child, siblings, work relationships. Romantic relationships are no exception. Chances are; with a little work and a little patience, you will be back in love in no time. 

NOTE: It can sometimes take up to a couple of months to get that spark back. Don't give up, it really is worth it in the end! If you find that it lasts longer than a month/ month and a half, you may want to seek some couples or individual counselling.  

The Importance of the Kiss.

Kisses, be they long and steamy, short and tender or just a peck on the cheek are an integral part of any romantic relationship. They tell your partner that you feel their pain, you share their joy, they are important to you and above all else that you love them.
My better half and I have a tradition that we keep every day. Each morning we give each other a single kiss. It's usually short and sweet and more like a long peck. We say "Good Morning Baby, I love you forever!" and carry about our day. Each night before we go to sleep, we give each other 3 kisses and say," I love you my sweetheart, I will meet you in my dreams!" We do this NO MATTER WHAT. If we are upset, if we just finished worshiping each other and even if we are annoyed with the other. We also do not leave the house (except in an emergency) without giving the other a kiss.
I am always so shocked by how many of life's problems can be fixed with a simple kiss. Physical pain can be dulled, emotional pain can be completely obliterated, woes and worries can be washed away all by the power of a kiss!
The moral of this rant is: NEVER UNDER ESTIMATE THE POWER OF A KISS! I don't care if you have only been together a week. Don't forget to kiss. If you have been together 20 years. Don't forget to kiss.
And don't forget to embrace your partner while you do so. Even if its a 5 second kiss!

True Love is appreciating the moments, IN the moment.

Too often we let the little moments pass us by. The truth is that we can create romance in almost any situation. Having children and low funds can make those romantic moments seem impossible. 
My spouse and I find and create romance whenever we can. Doing dishes for instance: They have to get done, so we do them together. One of us washes and the other dries and puts away. Every dish I wash, I tell her something I love about her. Every dish she dries, she tells me something she loves about me. Not only does this make you both feel appreciated, it boosts your self esteem. You can make popcorn (or your treat of choice) and turn down the lights. Put on a movie you both love. Voila! Instant movie theatre, without the annoying persons cell phone, the sick persons coughing or the uncomfortable seats that someone somewhere down the line urinated on. You can cuddle up or not as you both wish. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH BEING GUSHY! Just sayin.

True love is a life time of normality, punctuated by moments of intense romance and I'm going to kill you!

As a society that grew up watching and reading happily-ever-after stories, we are led to believe that once we find "the one" life will be all sunshine and roses. This is a load of donkey poo!
It's really about learning how to live your daily life in harmony with another person. So when you find "the one" don't have these super high expectation that things are going to be peachy keen every day, all day. It's just not possible.

About This Blog:

06-13-2013: I have been in a wonderful, loving relationship for 7 years. Our relationship has it's share of ups and downs. Neither of us are perfect. That being said; my spouse and I have a relationship that works. It works well... for us. We are often asked how it is that we have stayed "In Love" for this long (although, in the grand scheme of things, 7 years is a rather short period of time!) This question will be answered in this blog. Please note: All of the opinions expressed in this blog are my own. I do not expect anyone to share these views. I do not intend to change anyone's perceptions or ideas of what love is to them. Please do not leave negative, hateful comments.  Thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I hope you find something useful!
06-18-2013: I changed the title of my blog from True Love: Facts & Myths to True Love Through My Eyes.
Why? I had a thunk (yes, a thunk!) First off, I don't have any P.H.D's or Doctorates or anything of the sort. All I have are my own experiences and observations. Secondly, one persons views on what is fact or myth may be the complete opposite for another.